Every Little Thing
by LondonLife
Summary: Following the unexpected death of a friend, 23-year-old Quinn Fabray is forced to be the rock for both her girlfriend and her roommate. Outwardly, she appears resilient and tenacious, but inwardly, she's losing hope. It's the most ambitious and heart-breaking journey of their lives as Rachel and Quinn explore the funny, thrilling, and tragic business of being alive and in love.
1. Introduction

**Hey, so this is really just a rough piece of writing that I've been meaning to publish on here at some point. It's a just a bit of fun but if it's popular I will continue to elaborate more. This is a very different style than I am used to, but I wanted to step outside of the box a little for those of you who like reading books/fanfics like this. **

**Rachel, Santana, Kurt, Blaine etc will be in this! It's more about the original cast members from the first 2/3 seasons, but I'll see where it leads! **

**Sorry about any mistakes. Think of this chapter as an introduction. If anything is unclear then I hope to resolve it within the next couple of chapters. Feel free to ask any questions and feedback will be greatly appreciated!**

**Thanks**

**P.S Rating may change. It's from Quinn's POV. Eventual Faberry (chapter three). **

**P.P.S Apologies to those who have read/reviewed/followed since I will be reworking this fic. I _was_ co-writing this with a friend who led me to believe that she understood what I wanted to create. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that she was not honest about her work or it's originality there-fore I am reworking the chapters we worked on together. The story will be different (and already is slightly)than the chapters you read previously. Sorry for any disappointment caused, but thank you for your support!**

/#/#/#/

A year later and we have finally managed to reach the sixteenth of July. I found my roommate huddled against an ancient oak tree camouflaged in the rich, bottle-green grass of Central Park.

Her white top rippled in the breeze and her denim shorts appeared faded and worn. The converses she was wearing once belonged to Rachel and I recognised them instantly. Rachel and Gia had spent three years of their lives switching clothes and exploring New York together whilst I studied at Yale. They had attended NYADA together and Rachel had even visited Gia's family in London during their summer break last year.

As I approach Gia, her emerald eyes flicker with flames of torture, relaying her pain to me in silence. Long blades of spring grass wrap around my knees as I approach her, repeating our ritual that reoccurs every year. Just an hour previously, I had been hand in hand with my seven-year old daughter Beth, winding through the interconnected paths of Central Park.

After kissing Beth goodbye, Shelby slid her away from me with an awkward goodbye and I was forced to return to reality.

Now, my feet find a way of tangling in the knotted weeds below me and my quiet approach is now ruined by my own clumsiness. I'm metres from Gia's spot beneath the shade when she looks up, squinting at my limp body. A smouldering cigarette was beginning to disintegrate between her fingers and the long, chocolate locks of hair fell beautifully around her face, awakening a twang of jealously deep inside me.

I draw to a halt, waiting for Gia to acknowledge me with a smile or a softly spoken word, but she said nothing. There was nothing to say. "Hey." I whispered.

"How are you?" She asks, her emerald eyes deserting their focus on my shoes to stare at the crease between my brows.

_Concerned, tired, worried?_ The list goes on, yet I say none of these things as I respond with the same monotone response I believe is acceptable on this day. A response Gia is not only anticipating, but relying on. "Yes. I'm fine. Beth says you owe her a hug" I laugh, but it's dry and certainly not genuine. She smiled for a split second and then stopped, as if she felt guilty for being happy. I thought I could see a woman brought back to life. She was strong and not afraid to cry, but I did not know her anymore. The conversation had run dry and we had run out of faith. The last year had changed us.

She felt it too. I could see it in the ghost of her smile. She patted the ground next to her; a smile playing around the corners of her full lips. We were both too tired, that was all. "Come here, Fabray."

As unusual as it is for me to succumb to the comfort of another person, I couldn't ignore her. My feet seemed to find their own way to her and I slid down the tree, slipping onto the ground beside Gia. "Everything aches."

"It's natural," she smiles. "Though, I'd have thought we'd have become immune to this suffering by now." She grits her teeth between each word, the effort of speaking too difficult when numbness possesses her entire being.

"Impossible." I say, blindly pulling blades of grass from the hard, dirt soil. Each blade I kill with inconsiderate tugging, the pain dulls ever-so-slightly. Only Gia understands how desperate I had been to keep this day sacred for us so that we could lie here together, appreciating the beauty of New York under the yellow, white sun. And Rachel probably knew too, but she wasn't here.

"He's at peace now." Gia reminds me, gently. "It's you and Rachel that I'm worried about."

Suddenly, I understood why she'd disappeared so urgently after seeing me and Rachel arguing that morning. The resemblance it had to her own relationship with her ex-boyfriend was uncanny. The arguing and pushing each other to the gutter so that we'd never love another was all too familiar and I could see the pain behind her eyes. It had been there for quite a while – since her husband passed away last year, on this exact day.

I have been seeing Rachel on and off for three months, but a combination of various factors means that our new relationship is fragile in many ways. Currently, we are going through a three day phase of ignoring each other. This time it was the end result of Rachel over-working. Last time, it was because of my own uncertainty. I did not know what I was searching for, and who I would find it within and Rachel did not want to be 'just an option'. I don't blame her.

I would never regard her as an option though. I already knew that I loved her, but for me, the question has always been whether or not I deserve her. I have never been under any illusion that what I did to her was okay, but she forgives too easily. What if I hurt her _again_? How could I ever forgive myself if she gave me a second chance and I destroyed it? Rachel seems to believe that I have changed, which I have, but it is not enough to be worthy of her.

Gia tells me to trust myself. I tell myself not too. Rachel is too precious.

So right now, I am in an in-between state of confusion and clarity. Clarity because I have and always will have feelings for my roommate - Gia - who does not have any prior judgements and simply takes me as I am. A relationship with her would not have any previously romantic emotions that we would need to confront and untangle carefully. Yet I feel confusion because I can't go a single day without thinking of Rachel - she has such a distorted view of my true intentions - but I want her. She is willing to take me as I am and pretends the past is no longer an issue in our lives, but I know that isn't right. Our past is still very much a part of the present. I need to prove to myself and Rachel that we really_ could_ work.

I look to Gia. Looking at her emotionless eyes flicker with the aftermath of despair, I realise that her huddled position in the grass is a haven away from anguish. When Nate had been diagnosed with cancer, it destroyed them both. They had grown up together, like two perfect Disney characters I once read about in fairy tales – yet at twenty two, Nate's life ended. They married three months before his death because Nate had insisted that that was the only thing he wanted to do with his life. So, they did. Gia wasn't one for commitment, but something pulled her back to Nate again and again. Agreeing to marry him knowing he was going to die was the most difficult thing she'd ever done, but it was beautiful and worth every memory.

Now, there was no end in sight for Gia to look forward too since his death had cost her everything – her best friend, her husband, her soul mate. Now that the bruises from their outrageous fights had vanished, there was nothing left. Not even a last kiss, or smile. He had been claimed by heaven and she had released him into the sky, knowing that was where he'd find peace.

I remembered Nathaniel Carson with fondness. He was tall and muscular - brilliant at swimming. He had brilliant blue eyes, shiny and bright, and he was always laughing. He wasn't like most other St. Jude boys, but then again, Gia wasn't like most other Upper East Side girls either. They both had a problem with rules and there was a degree of difficulty in dealing with them both, yet they were adored by every one that knew them.

They fought like crazy, but they loved like life depended on it. It didn't matter where they were, as long as they were smiling. Nate wanted Gia to find someone else to love like he loved her, but Gia claimed that was impossible. Even now, as we sit beneath the tree they married under, I can see it in her eyes that she has no desire to move on. The chance of us becoming something more is very unlikely. She is still Gia _Carson. _

"We'll do something to remember him by," I say, but she doesn't reply. She stares straight ahead into the endless seams of bottle-green grass swaying in the breeze. After a considerable amount of silence, Gia gently pulls my head to rest of her shoulder and tells me to close my eyes.

I comply, resting my head comfortably against the crook of her neck, but I don't close my eyes. The park is too beautiful, and my eyes have begun to settle on a rose bush way in the distance beside a bridge. The auburn leaves fluttered across the ground, reminding me of the golden flecks that sparkle in Gia's eyes whenever the sun caught her at the right angle. The auburn flecks match the natural highlights in her hair that flit back and forth between gold and bronze in colour depending on the angle of the sun.

A heavy silence fell over us, but it was comfortable. Never of us felt the need to fill the space with empty words or pointless questions.

After a while Gia moved, tracing patterns across my hand with the back of her pedicured nails. "You know, I've known you for two years now…" Gia murmured beneath her breath. Somehow, I knew she was smiling.

"It's gone so quick." I realise. After officially living in New York for two years and being twenty-three years old this year, I am still nowhere near to choosing a career that I want to pursue.

"Yes, it has." She nodded. "I think we should do something…to celebrate, maybe? I know that people will typically be expecting me to be upset and locked away out of sight, so let's do the opposite! I hate sitting here doing nothing. I need _something _to distract me."

I smiled. "Okay, what do you have in mind?"

"I want to show you something tonight, and feel free to bring Rachel along."

"I don't do threesome's _usually_, but perhaps I can make an exception…" I began to joke, teasing her.

"Babe, you'd have to work _very _hard to keep up with both me and Rach at the same time..." she laughed, and then she pouted. "I wouldn't want you to be out of your comfort zone."

I laughed. "You have no idea what I'm capable off!"

"Ohh, is that right?" She asked mockingly. I forgot that she could hear me and Rachel when we were in the next bedroom. Right now though, it didn't seem as though that would be a problem anymore.

We both laughed, the heaviness of the sixteenth of July was slowly melting into the background. "We'll try to be quieter..." I promise. It's a promise that even Gia knows I won't keep. I add "If we sort out our latest argument."

"Don't worry about it," she grinned. "I'll get revenge one day – you just see if I don't!"

"Yeah, yeah!"

"I will." She stated, pointing at me. "It's a promise."

"Alright," I smiled, suddenly curious. "So, where are we going tonight?"

"I want to show you my favourite place in New York. It's a surprise and you'll need a jacket and converses. None of those high-heels that make your legs look like they go on for miles." My eyebrow arched instinctively. "Don't think anyone, gay _or_ straight, hasn't noticed." She smirked.


	2. Chapter One

**Thank you for sticking with me whilst I have reworked this chapter. It's heading in a very different direction now so I hope you enjoy it! I know that the use of an original character may not be to everyone's taste but there is a very good explanation for it further along in my planning for this fic. I guess I should say that if you don't like it, then don't read it. **

**I haven't had the time to pour all my effort into this chapter, but I didn't want to keep you waiting for to long. It's not great and may even be a little lacking in clarity but I hope you like it. Sorry in advance for anything that is not quite clear enough or any mistakes with grammar etc. Feel free to ask/message me with any questions or suggestions!**

**/#/#/#/**

I stood in the doorway of my apartment, another blank expression staring right back at me. We stood opposite one another, our bodies hostile and unrelenting. Rachel's eyes were sharp and pleading, a mixture of annoyance and desperation set deep within, and her body jittered with jerks of anger as she contemplated her next move.

A vicious and suffocating silence choked us as the air swirled thickly with anticipation. Neither of us moved, but gradually our bodies relaxed and our shoulders began to drop. I shifted defensively as Rachel attempted to speak, but her words were stifled.

She hesitated, staring at the ground. "I'm sorry I handled this so wrongly Quinn. I should have approached this in a friendlier manner." Rachel finally spoke, her words tense and strained.

I nodded in acceptance of her apology. "I wouldn't have said you were unfriendly – just openly hostile." I commented, playing with the edges of a lily that was beginning to perish in its vase.

I could see her lips tweak as if contemplating a smile, but she continued to keep her eyes firmly focused on the floor. "Well, I apologise for that too."

"It's okay, Rach –"

"No. No it's not." She shifted uncomfortably, folding her arms across her torso. " You keeping acting so naïve saying I'm not who you need, but what if I am Quinn? Would that change any of this?"

"You've got it the wrong way around, baby." I said softly, neither of us quite expecting the emotional break in my voice. Her massive shiny brown eyes pierced straight through me. We still stood at opposite sides of the apartment. "It's me that isn't what _you_ need."

Rachel took a cautious step towards me, timidly taking both of my hands. When I refused to look her in the eye, she placed her tiny palms on either side of my face and gently forced me to look at her. I reached out and rested my hands on her hips. "I know you're not good for me." She stated matter-of-factly. "I'm not good for you either, but no matter what you say I know you need me like I need you."

I smiled weakly, fighting back tears. I slipped my arms around her waist and pulled her against me. "We've been here before, Rachel." I murmured into her ear, a tear gliding down my cheek. "We can't do it again."

She leaned into me, resting her head against my shoulder. "So what are you saying?" she asked meekly, allowing her hands to wander as they pressed against the small of my back.

"I'm saying I'm genuinely stuck Rachel. I don't know what's for the best." I felt her body stiffen in my arms and she turned away from me, detangling her body from my hold. I tried to hold her hand, but she moved out of reach. I looked to her, taking a deep breath. "I don't want to see you go…"

She walked away, keeping her back to me. "But equally, you don't want to have me stay." She said, her words hollow and detached. Suddenly, I was no longer looking at the same Rachel. Her words were mocking, but I did not dispute. She had guessed the outcome of my tangled mass of emotions.

"It isn't like that!" I walked towards her forcibly then stopped myself.

She turned to glare at me. "From where I'm standing it is. All you ever care about is what people will think!"

"That is not fair, Rachel!" I shouted, my anger suddenly welling up and surging towards the surface. I rushed forward, placing a hand on her shoulder and willing her to look at me. She turned around quickly, brushing my hand away. This gesture in particular stung me more than I'd expected. She showed no sign of calming down any time soon – neither did I.

My pulse raced and the air in my lungs burned, urging me to fight. I felt disorientated as anger gripped my muscles and clenched them tight. Rachel's eyes latched onto mine, holding us both in our places.

"We both know that this will never ever be an option!" she said, rage bubbling beneath the surface. Her lips trembled and her hands shook as despair coursed through her veins.

"I didn't want this to happen." I said defensively, softening my voice as best as I could under the circumstances. Irritation still gripped me tight and I fought hard to conceal it beneath my already messy exterior. "I just need _time."_

"But why, Quinn?" She asked, almost piteously now. "What can time fix that I can't? Surely, there's something you aren't telling me…" She looked to me. "Isn't there?"

I wanted to shake my head - to deny it and pretend there was nothing - but there was and Rachel's sixth-sense would have alerted her to that by now. There was no point in submerging the truth below layers of conspicuous deceptions. Nothing good would come of it. "I have to _know_." I said.

She stepped closer to me now, tilting her head slightly to the right. Her chestnut eyes searched the depths of my hazel orbs for some kind of answer, but she was greatly disappointed. My emotions were veiled behind thick concrete walls inside me that I had built around my vulnerability. I was designed to mask emotion. "You have to know what, Quinn? You know everything about me."

"No- it's not about you. I already know I love you. We both know that," I began, subtly allowing my conscious mind to recover from the shock of arguing with Rachel. It felt unnatural. "I just need to know that our past won't define us forever. I want to move on, but something is stopping me. Perhaps, I'll never get past what I did to you but it's better for me to know now, than find out later."

"So, you're scared you won't be able to make up for the past?"

"Yes-"I hesitated as my phone buzzed from its place on the coffee table – I could see Gia's name shining up at me. I ignored it, but Rachel didn't. I noticed her eyes flicker to Gia's name and then return to me, harsher and more intense than before. I swallowed hard. "Essentially, yes. But it's more complicated than that."

"And by more complicated you mean that you are actually confused over your relationship with Gia, right?" She asked, pointing towards my phone.

I sighed deeply, overwhelmed by the sheer mass of conflicting emotions that swelled around inside my head. "No. That isn't what I mean."

"It's clear that you once had feelings for her…" she said, treating it as a fact. "Do you still feel that way?"

I looked to Rachel and then looked away, diverting my gaze towards the open door that exposed Gia's bedroom. I answered as honestly as I could. "Yes, but it's a crush and it will go away." I admitted. "What I feel for you won't go away."

Rachel watched me carefully, searching for assurance. The corners of her mouth pulled upwards, hinting at a smile, but it never came. Instead she shifted her weight and leaned back against the window seal. "What about the past?" she asked. "I still don't understand that…"

"I'm cautious about the future because I don't know how, or if, we can move pass our past. I need to figure that out first." I explained vaguely, knowing there were gaps in my explanation. It wasn't very detailed but that was because I really didn't know what I was waiting for. "If I'm not a big enough person to confront what I did in high-school, then how can I look you in the eye and say 'I deserve you?"

She looked to me, her jaw dropped and eyes wide. "Don't you ever think like that, Quinn! If it's my Dads that you're worried about then that's irrelevant. But if you think we can't get past what happened in high-school then you're wrong. I mean, look at us now…This would never have been possible when we were sixteen."

She had a point. Over time our dynamic as friends had grown and absorbed the changes that life presented us with. We were much closer now and there was no risk of me ever converting back to my old ways. "I know you're right. I just have to get my emotions in check first. My head is all over the place and I don't want to dive into a relationship with you head first and then realise I over looked something, like your relationship with Shelby and my relationship with Beth."

"Okay," she nodded, beginning to understand. This relationship was much more complex than Rachel had originally thought. "I can deal with that, Quinn." She said, moving towards me with small, slow steps. "Though I think you're being too hard on yourself."

"I can't afford not to be." I sighed with a small smile. "If I get this wrong, then the people I could hurt go beyond just me and you. We have a history to consider and I have a daughter."

Rachel tilted her head to the right and inhaled deeply. "I guess you're right, Quinn. Beth is your priority right now." She sighed deeply, diverting her eyes away from me. "I don't want to admit this, but I can see why Gia might be the better option. Just take your time and do what's right for you and Beth, okay?"

"Are you sure?" I asked, feeling her hands against my arms. She was standing right in front of me, her lips parted and her eyes wide. She never stepped any closer, but I could sense that she wanted too. I wanted her too as well, but something was comforting about the distance between us. I felt reassured that she was not expecting more.

She nodded firmly. "Yes. I think we both have prior insecurities that we need to address. Time apart will do us good if we're ever going to consider a future with both of us in it."

Faced with the reality of Rachel actually walking away, time apart suddenly didn't seem so appealing. With one last squeeze of her hand, I let our fingers dangle together loosely. We both bowed our heads, afraid to look into each other's eyes for fear of changing our minds.

"I agree." I murmured.

She pressed her full lips against my cheek and pulled back slowly, dropping my hands. My eyes fell to the floor, an overwhelming flash of emotion overriding the desire to pull her back into me and kiss her until our lung ached for oxygen. I suddenly felt unsure, as if I'd just asked for time I did not want. My thought process turned into a blurred collision of images that meant nothing as I watched Rachel walk away from me towards the door.

"Rach, wait!" I called just as her hand reached for the latch. My eyes flitted back to a picture of me and Gia on the wall and a familiar burn settled in my bottom of my stomach. Just a picture on the wall reminded me that I was still surrounded by it all. Clearly I still did not know what, or who, I wanted.

"Yes?" she asked, turning around.

I bit my lip, stopping myself from blurting out the first thing that came to my mind. "I _will_ call you…even if it's not right away. We will make this work."

"I know we will Quinn." She smiled, opening the door. "I trust you to make the right decision when the time is right."

And with that, Rachel was gone. There was no hug goodbye and the final look we shared was full of unfulfilled promises. There was something in Rachel's smile that told me this wasn't over, but that was another thing only time could tell.

I let the tears roll down my cheeks undisturbed. I had a right to cry and I had a right to feel confused. I left my apartment ten minutes later, after I was sure that Rachel would have left. Tears stained my cheeks and the adrenaline of the last half an hour still coursed through me, causing my body to shake every so often. I met Gia with a smile and climbed into her car as though nothing was any different, though I didn't utter a single word throughout the entire journey.

She took my hand without asking any questions and didn't let go once. Somehow, she read my mind and allowed me to stay locked away in a world far removed from reality as we swiftly weaved our way through New York and out again, to some distant and unknown location. I felt secure with her – we were both still nursing the viscous wounds of our pasts and we were both badly broken. She managed to keep our heads above the water whilst I looked for the answer deep beneath the surface. Our minds fought to keep one another content whilst our lives merged in the tangled maze of New York. We were both deep thinkers, but Gia was much more impulsive than me. She was the creative one, whilst I was deemed the academic one. Together, we were unbeatable in our industry as photographers and I did not know what to expect next from my life with her. I was comforted by the spontaneity. Together, we had achieved a perfectly blended balance of success and madness.

I looked across to Gia and watched her for a while as we drove through the wooded lanes. She glanced over to where I was sitting for a brief second, smiled, and then returned her eyes to the road. It made no sense when she looked at me like that – like I was the prize rather than the outrageously lucky winner. Without my emotions being clouded by fears and what ifs, I could see now where my curiosity for Gia's affections had arisen from. I had come to love Gia not because she was the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly…Only after I had lost everything, including Rachel, was I free to do anything…I could throw things out there and not be perfect and not have the answers to everything and then see if people still understood me.

I sighed. I was officially free.

**/#/#/#**

If I'd ever feared death before in the past, it was nothing compared to now. Gia streaked through the dark, thick underbrush of the forest like a bullet, turning and waiting for me to catch up every now and again. There was no sound apart from the odd trickling of water far in the distance and the light fall of our footsteps.

My body was still heavy, baring the scars of that afternoon and my conversation with Rachel. I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders, but, at the same time, I felt more alone and uncertain of my future. I was free to address any emotions or regrets I had with no one to hold me back, but I didn't know where to start.

I felt as though we were the last people on the earth as we weaved in and out of the heavy forest. We'd travelled outwards to the edge of New York and were now lacing our way towards the highest point of Lake Minnewaska State Park.

Gia's breathing never changed or indicated any effort – she was used to hiking this distance.

"So, where exactly are we going?" I asked as Gia led me along a worn path through thick woods. "I mean, you aren't really some twisted ex-prisoner who's been planning my murderous death for months, are you?"

She stopped suddenly and turned to meet my eyes. "How'd you know?"

"Shut up." I ordered, playfully slapping the taller woman's arm. We both smiled instantly, appreciating the nature around us as we walked upwards towards the sun. The smile never left my face as Gia entwined our hands together and continued to guide me along the trail. I had no instincts when it came to directions so I trusted her to lead us further and further into the glittering trees. I followed swiftly, trying my best not to trip on any of the hidden undergrowth. "I'm just saying that we've been walking for fifteen minutes now. We're on a trail so that gives me hope that we're actually going somewhere, but the length of the mystery trail and it's less than casually travelled condition has left me rather curious as to what your intentions truly are."

"We're almost there. And just in time too." Gia promised, gradually slowing to match my stride.

"Just in time... yeah, that's not at all foreboding."

"Hey. Just be thankful that I left my gun in the car. All I can do now is have my way with you where there's no one around to hear you scream." She joked, causing me to smile. We had an unusual relationship that may have proven problematic if Rachel was the jealous type, or equally, if we were still together. I pushed the thought of Rachel to the back of my mind, intent on focusing on the forest around me instead.

The cool forest air whipped against my face and burned my eyes, but I felt free. I began to lose my train of thought listening to simple sounds of nature all around us. A glossy white butterfly landed on a wild flower in the distance, flitting from one flower to another, eventually settling on an abandoned log. Its life seemed simple alone in this forest.

After another hundred yards, I could definitely see a light in the trees ahead, a glow that was yellow instead of green. I picked up the pace, my eagerness growing with every step. Gia let me lead now, following closely.

When we reached the clearing, she stood motionless, waiting for me to say something. I tried, but my lips wouldn't respond. My arms and legs stayed locked in one place whilst my eyes grew wide at the sight in front of me.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Her voice was high, excited.

I didn't say anything. I just stared blankly at the abundance of life around me.

It was incredible.

**/#/#/#**


	3. Chapter Two

**Okay, so following your reviews I feel pressured to point out that Rachel and Quinn have not magically sorted everything at the end of this chapter.** **The separation is certainly not permanent and will not be happening again as far as I can tell. I don't want to spoil anything, but in the upcoming chapters, the content will begin to be a little lighter and more humorous as Quinn and Rachel explore their relationship. This split was really a chance to show why the character of Gia is important. There is a lot of history that will be explained later on. It really just offers some subtle insight into my psychotic character of Gia and the reason Quinn is the way she is. This fic is a progressive piece of work which will unravel gradually. **

**The beginning of this chapter was actually a prompt that another writer PM'd me, so credit to her for the idea. Thank you very much! If anyone else has any idea's that they would like to contribute then feel free to message me. I will do my best to include them and hopefully do them justice. **

**As I said, keep in mind that Rachel has not magically forgiven Quinn. Quinn will have to do a fair share of grovelling for forgiveness first. **

**Thank you for every review/follow/favourite! Keep'em coming if you like this chapter. This contains some swearing and a slightly aggressive scene between Quinn and Gia. **

**/#/#/#/**

"Follow me," She took me by the hand again and walked another twenty feet off the path before entering the beautiful little meadow that over looked the scenery below the high hill that we were standing on. Distant ponds could be seen glowing as the dimming sun played off of their placid surfaces. The shadows cast by the trees danced in the light breeze that was blowing and the purple wild flowers reached upwards as if to soak up the last of the sun.

"How on earth did you ever find this place?" I asked. Gia stood beside me, slightly protected by the tree's overhead that offered shade. For the first time, I noticed that a light dusting of freckles were sprinkled across her nose – perhaps from the endless days in the sun. She smiled brightly, her dimples deepening as I turned to face her fully.

"It's a secret." She tweaked her eyebrows and waited for me to absorb my surroundings. It was truly beautiful. I was determined to take my mind of Rachel, but surely just one more moment couldn't break my heart as I thought of us sitting here together under the stars. When I opened my eyes her smile was gone again. "I thought you could use a few wishes tonight." Gia smiled. She pointed to the right where a heron stood completely frozen, surveying the surrounding land as the sun begun to turn from blue to pink. "When I was a little girl, before my mom left, she used to bring me here. Every time we saw a heron, she would tell me to make a wish."

"Is this the only memory you have of her?" I asked gently, curious about her past. She looked away from me, into the distance. Gia didn't talk about her mother's absence often - since it opened old wounds like her fear of rejection or her tendency to avoid commitment – but for once, she turned to me and nodded.

"This is the only memory I remember clearly. It's very special to me." Gia admitted with a smile as she pulled out two large blankets from a bag she'd hidden behind a tree. She laid one down on the ground next to the tree and sat down, calling for me to sit next to her. "I don't bite."

"I highly doubt that!" I scoffed, joining her against the tree.

She smirked. "Well, I'll only bite if and when it's necessary-" I smiled. "So, are you going to tell me what happened earlier?"

I sighed deeply, tipping my head back to rest it against the bark. I could feel her eyes watching me with warranted curiosity. "Do you really want to know?"

I was hesitant to explain myself to Gia. Firstly, because it was now dawning on me that I needed Rachel, and secondly because I didn't actually_ want_ Gia. I wanted the spontaneity, not the girl herself. This wasn't a reflection on Gia personally, just a glitch in my messy logic. I also started to think of Beth. Rachel was wonderful with her, regardless of the situation with Shelby. There was no reason why we couldn't work through our issues together. I had believed the issues were purely mine and that to drag Rachel into them was unfair, but now I was beginning to see that we needed to work through them together. It was all one big messy mistake that would be hard to redeem myself from.

I watched two herons take flight above our heads, swirling in perfect circles as they danced together in the sky. Rich blades of grass swayed back and forth and the hard, dry soil had begun to crack. The huge looping tree that offered us a canopy to sit beneath was worn and tired, dried up from the constantly harsh sun.

I squinted at Gia who insisted firmly that I tell her what had happened. "C'mon Q, it's me. You met me when I had nothing but an empty apartment and a bag of coke to my name. There are no secrets anymore."

"I suppose." I admitted in the stillness, remembering what she had and what she'd lost. "We pulled through though, didn't we?" I added, hoping to tinge the conversation with a hint of positive energy.

"Just about, but I wasn't in a good place. You know that. If I didn't have photography as an outlet for all the different sides of me, I would probably be locked up somewhere."

"Yeah, but you have been through something very few people can sympathize with." I reminded her."And if being sane is thinking there's something wrong with being different...I'd rather be completely fucking mental anyway!"

"Hey! I'm not mentally unfit…_yet_." She grinned, pulling a half empty packet of cigarettes from her back pocket. "I'm _eccentric_. It's an entirely different thing."

"Okay." I laughed, flicking her lighter repeatedly until the flame appeared, absorbing the end of her cigarette in orange sparks. When she offered me one, I took it, needing something to drain the anxious tension from my veins. She lit it for me, and then stuffed the packet back in her pocket.

"When you're ready to tell me what happened, I'll be listening." She promised, resting her head on my shoulder. "No pressure."

I nodded, pulling my thoughts together. Even though I loved Rachel, I couldn't express the depth of my feelings for her. It was like I'd run out of words. I glanced at Gia who sat perfectly still under the rapidly appearing stars, taking deep, steady breaths as she dragged on her cigarette. Finally, I could see where my feelings for her stopped. I loved her, adored her even, but I could never give her the things she wanted when I so badly wanted to give them to someone else.

A complete absence of sound swallowed us as we sat motionless, puffing on cigarette's. It seemed to stretch on forever as we watched the sky begin its transition from liquid blue to solid navy. We didn't say anything. We didn't even move. We immersed ourselves in the quiet of the night.

Eventually, I cleared my throat and ultimately stuttered the words "We broke up," with a broken and distance voice that didn't even sound as if it belonged to me. Gia's face whipped around to meet mine, her eyes wide and disbelieving.

"You are joking, right? Please don't tell me you're serious!"

My body crumbled and tears rapidly began to form. I brushed them away fiercely. "I _thought_ I needed time." I managed to say through my clenched jaw. "I hate pretending that my heart isn't breaking every time I look into her eyes. I just feel so guilty all the time and…and…I didn't know what to do…I was so fucking stupid Gia! Everything is my fault…"

"Why? Did _you_ break up with _her_?" Gia questioned, confused.

I nodded, although technically that wasn't the truth. I had never actually said the words 'I'm breaking up with you'. But I'm guessing I didn't really leave Rachel any choice but to assume that's what I'd wanted.

"I twisted it around in my head and told myself I was doing what was best for her, but that isn't even remotely honest." I dropped my head into my hands, plunging myself into darkness. I felt Gia's hand run down my back, soothingly repeating circles across the width of my back.

"So what are you doing here with me, Quinn? You should be out there somewhere, with Rachel, telling her how you really feel-"

"I know, I know…" I said, refusing to look up. My skin turned cold beneath her touch and I suddenly felt very, very guilty. Gia kicked up the fallen leaves and the magic of this beautiful place suddenly drained away as they navy sky turned to grey. My regret was evident and the emotional break in my voice continued to crack until I could barely string a single sentence together. "Now that she's a part of me, I really cannot function without her." I admitted.

"Then get up!" Gia ordered, finding her feet easily. I felt her tapping my shoulder. "Get up!" she repeated, this time more urgently. I lifted my head, looking up to meet her impatient face. I scrambled to my feet, confused. "You are going to sort yourself out and whilst you're at it, you can fix your relationship too."

I stared at her perplexed. Surely she wasn't serious?

"You can either stand here with me all night, or you can get Rachel back… You're choice, but it doesn't seem to be a very difficult decision from where I'm standing. You don't understand how lucky you are to even have a chance with her and if you won't take it, I will."

I glared at her, secretly praying that she was joking. There was no way I could convince Rachel to choose me if Gia became my competition. The looming threat of Gia actually falling for Rachel cut deep. "Don't you dare lay a finger on her!" I warned, suddenly defensive. "Do you understand?"

She smirked, just begging to push me further into a corner. She was waiting to get a rise of me - something that affirmed my loyalty to Rachel. "I'm the boss; so technically, I'll do whatever the fuck I like."

This time, I knew she was just testing me to see how deep my loyalty ran. It turned out, it ran much deeper than I'd expected since my chest tightened and my jaw screwed shut at the thought of Gia and Rachel together. "You wouldn't dare do that..." I said, staring at her fiercely.

"I might, if you don't get your shit together."

For the first time, Gia's eyes flickered with an emotion I could not register. She seemed genuinely pissed now as I pushed her away from me.

"Stay away from her!" I hissed.

Gia pinned me back against the tree trunk, holding me hostage. I wasn't scared or even threatened by the prospect of what could happen next. I just wanted to hear what she had to say. I had only seen this side of Gia once before when she protected me from a slightly over friendly local at a bar. The extra four inches that she had over me helped her keep me pinned back. I was unable to struggle free.

She lowered her voice to a whisper, bringing her lips dangerously close to my neck. My nose filled with the familiar scent of her DKNY perfume and coconut shampoo. "You better fight for her to the death, Fabray. Do you hear me? You don't want to end up like me."

My pulse throbbed and my mouth ran dry. The feel of her skin against mine somehow rendered me to the spot – I was immobilised - unable to escape. "Let me go." I snarled.

She increased the pressure of her toned, slender body against mine, her eyes serious and unrelenting. "Then step up and take responsibility!" Her words seemed to trigger a force in me and that urged me to struggle against her hold. I raked my nails across her back. She slammed me back against the tree harder. "Saying 'I love you' takes three seconds to say, Quinn, and it takes about three hours to explain, but it takes a lifetime to prove. You need to start fighting for her – for your own sake as well as hers! "

I paused, taking deep, uneven drags of air into my lungs. My veins pulsed beneath my skin and my head spun. "Rachel makes me feel like the luckiest person in the whole world." I said, gritting my teeth together. "And if she lets me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make her feel the same way! So, just stay away from her!"

Finally, I seemed to have said the right thing. Gia smiled, leaning back slightly. Her eyes were still stern and forceful, but her grip loosened around my wrists. She locked our hands together instead, a gesture that proved she wasn't doing this out of hate, but out of necessity. She was telling me the things I needed to hear, pushing me to the limit, and making me _feel_ something.

I stared her cold, empty eyes and yearned for the old Gia to return. I leant forward slowly, easing her weight of me. She smirked. "Just a word of advice for the future, baby – don't challenge a crazy person."

Our lips brushed. I whispered, hoping to offer words of assurance. "You're not crazy – this is life not heaven, and you don't have to be perfect."

She lingered there, connecting our eyes and twining her hands up towards the back of my neck, into my hair. The golden flecks in her eyes hardened, glittering down at me, and in that moment she looked so beautiful, she appeared to be almost inhuman.

"Quinn?" she whispered, her voice rough and raspy. Our lips were still only inches apart. I swallowed hard, pushing any kind of temptation away. It reminded me so badly of her more vulnerable days, influenced by coke or heroin rather than raw emotion.

Gia loosened her grip on me, but neither of our postures relaxed. She glanced back over her shoulder, towards the trail we had emerged from an hour or so previously. Then she nodded towards it. At first, I didn't know what she was hinting. Then, when her lips turned upwards into a smirk and her eyes became excited rather than hostile. That's when I understood. She brought her lips to my ears, brushing over the spot where my pulse throbbed. "Just. Go. For. It. Stop being so scared."

I inhaled deeply. "I don't fear anything." I lied.

She scoffed, shaking her head. Her arms were either side of me now, holding me against the tree. "You're scared of loving someone. You're scared of rejection. You're scared of pain-"

"Feel free to stop any time soon-" I interjected.

She rolled her eyes. "All I'm saying is that once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you."

I nodded, feeling her grip loosen a little further until we were standing close due to personal choice rather than the pressure of the tree trunk behind me. "How do you make it all sound so simple?" I asked. "I would love to see the world through your eyes – just for a day."

"I would gladly trade to be in your position."

I hesitated. "Thank-you, Gia." I said beneath my breath. "Thank-you for making me see sense."

"It's really not that difficult-" she shrugged. "Love one person; take care of them until you die. You know, raise kids. Have a good life. Be a good friend. And try to be completely who you are. And figure out what you personally love. And like go after it with everything you've got no matter how much it takes."

My smile broadened - the equality between us slowly returning. I nodded. "I will."

She turned away from me, finally convinced. I smiled at her, grateful for her psychotic tendencies and then looked towards the trail we used to enter the meadow in the first place, which was now nothing more than a dark clearing between two massive evergreen trees. "Race me?" I asked.

She grinned. "It would be my honour to kick your ass."

I laughed. "Don't get too cocky. I can be quick." I warned, but it was too late. She was already leaving, swiping up the blanket as she left, laughing.

"I can afford to be cocky because I know the way out!" she shouted from the distance, somewhere where she was disguised by trees.

"Fuck!" I growled.

Turns out, there was a tiny flaw in my plan to out smart her after all.

**/#/#/#**

After what seemed like an eternity, we were finally back in New York, winding our way through the crowds in Gia's white Audi TT. Time Square glittered in the distance as Gia pulled into the side entrance of a local bar. It was 11pm by the time I finally made it to Rachel's apartment with a bunch of roses and a letter, written by me. I had left Gia at the bar, talking to a blonde woman named Cassie.

When I got to Rachel's apartment I didn't knock, since I didn't want to wake her. Instead, a left the bunch of roses and the letter outside her apartment, hoping they wouldn't wilt and die overnight. Then, I found my way to the rooftop where I sat and waited for dawn to break.

Thankfully, it was the middle of July, so the temperatures didn't drop to ridiculous lows. I fell asleep in a chair that had obviously been long forgotten and awoke to the sound of garbage trucks backing their way down West 42nd Street.

Once my eyes adjusted to light, I was able to enjoy the sunrise. The sky turned from pale pink, to orange then to baby blue. It was the first time I had watched the sunrise in New York and I felt as though I was cheating the day by saving a little slither of it just for myself. I found myself yearning for my camera, so that I could soak up the memory of this precious morning before every New Yorker rose and the hustle and bustle of city life begun.

I glanced at my phone. Seven am. I had approximately an hour before Rachel was due to wake up since it was a Saturday and she liked to be awake early enough to go for a jog in Central Park before it got too crowded.

I pulled myself up from the chair, my muscles stiff and unresponsive. Taking once last glance at the beautiful July morning, I headed back into the apartment complex. Outside Rachel's apartment, the letter and roses still remained untouched. I reached for the spare key, hidden somewhere along the top of the door frame.

I gently opened the apartment door, eager to impress Rachel as best as I could. I took myself of into the kitchen and suddenly began prepping for blue cornmeal pancakes draped in raspberry sauce – her favourite. Whilst they were cooking, I grabbed a breakfast tray and prepared the roses and letter on top, leaving space for the fresh orange juice and pancakes.

Before I knew it, the kitchen was cleaned, the pancakes were freshly prepared and Rachel was due to wake anytime soon. I pulled my phone from my pocket.

_Hey, baby. _

_I have some explaining to do. I'm waiting for you. Q_

The message went through with a satisfying bleep and I returned to the kitchen. My heart was thumping and my ears were ringing just with the thought of actually facing Rachel after yesterday. I felt awful and I probably looked it too. Just as I turned around with the tray in my hand, I caught a glimpse of Rachel stood in the doorway of her bedroom with a massive smile across her lips. She looked so beautiful that it hurt, and my eyes bulged seeing her surprisingly long legs exposed in a tiny nightdress. She was flawless.

"Hey."

"What are you doing here, Quinn?" Rachel asked, her arms folded across her chest. Although I expected her to be angry, she appeared to be the opposite. Her smile deepened when I struggled to form any words.

"I…Um…I wanted to, uh, explain myself." I held the tray out towards her. "Pancakes?"

She laughed. "Did you make them?"

I nodded. "Then no thank-you."

"Hey!" I laughed. "That's not fair, it's your recipe."

She edged forward slightly, as if trying to gauge their edibility from the other side of the room. "Okay, I'll try them whilst you start explaining yourself to me." She said. "It's a compromise."

I smiled, carrying the tray over to the table. I pulled out a chair for Rachel who tentatively sat down, regarding the pancakes with caution, and then I sat down opposite her.

"What _are_ they?" She asked with an ounce of amusement.

I scrunched my nose. "Well, they're meant to be your favourite; blue cornmeal pancakes with raspberry sauce." I explained. "Can't you tell?"

She frowned, trying not to smile. "Not really. This could just be a pile of mush for all I know. I mean, how did you manage to murder the recipe for pancakes, Quinn?"

"I happen to think they look quite nice." I defended, nodding towards the orange juice. "You might want to have some of that nearby though if you're actually going to try them."

She laughed. "It's obvious you tried. Perhaps I'll make us both something edible after we've had a conversation about yesterday. That's if you're planning on sticking around?"

"Yes, that'll be nice." I nodded. "Thank you."


End file.
